Your Stories - Ashley M

Content Warning: These stories contain mentions of body dysmorphia, body image struggles, pregnancy loss, fertility struggles and gendered violence. If you find any of the below triggering, please find a list of helpful and free resources below:

DV/SV: 1800 RESPECT

Mental Health: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Eating Disorders and Body Image Issues: Butterfly Foundation 1800 ED HOPE

So, our most beautiful woman in the world decided to get her kit off for the majority of her shoot so selecting her images to post has involved a lot of social media censoring (apologies for the breathtaking art you’re missing). 

I think that’s what made Ashley’s shoot so special - she had absolutely no idea how stunning she is. She can be shy at first but really she’s a firecracker who is SO READY to finally be able to love herself, and let herself be loved exactly how she deserves. 

When I looked back to her initial submission which was used at our recent Model Call exhibition - it was brief, and I didn’t feel it covered the breadth of the woman she is, so I reached out and asked her if she’d like to expand on it. After receiving her reply, I decided it wasn’t worth using within her narrative but deserved to be read. This is what she wrote:

I’m a mid 40’s Male to Female transgender woman.

I actually feel like I’ve lived multiple lives and have definitely taken the long and painful road in the pursuit to finding me,

I’ve been a musician, a tradesman, an ADF Service member and a husband.. Twice!!, all the while pretending to be the ‘man’ that the world expected me to be. 

(Cant say I didnt try….. lol)

I’ve definitely struggled to fit in or feel at home anywhere throughout my life. Living with that ‘hetero male mask’ , living in a self imposed prison I had created for myself. All because it was expected of me. But clearly I found the internal self imposed prison I placed myself in was far worse than any abuse or judgment from others.

I've unfortunately experienced horrendous trauma and pain throughout my life, that no one should ever have to endure. After hitting rock bottom and losing everything I had a very unique opportunity, to either give up and fade away, or finally take the mask off and be me.

I didn't just take the mask off, I owned my identity, my trauma, and my past completely, and thrived in the journey of self discovery.

I arrived at my photo shoot so nervous and feeling so out of my depth. 

This was just 2 months after I had Gender Affirming Bottom Surgery (GAS), and despite being super self conscious and full of doubt, I was hoping to express myself and learn to love me for me.

To love the body I call home, and appreciate all of me. Scars and all.

Doing the Model Call was about learning to love my body as it is now. Not how I wish I looked, but how I look in the now, and who I truly am.

To love my body as I’ve now learnt to love my authentic self.

After surgery and my photo shoot last year, I found a new love for my body… and found my voice…

Finally starting to change my internal narrative from ‘your not good enough’, or ‘no one will ever accept you’ to 

“I am good enough” and even though my body has signs of trauma and self harm and isn’t perfect…

It’s my body.

And this is the real me. 

A beautiful and resilient Transgender woman.

I’m finally allowing myself the time and space to be my true authentic self…

And now I’m finally able to live life for me.

Now in 2026, and looking towards my future, I am the happiest and most grounded I’ve ever been.

Happier than I ever thought possible, and I’m so blessed that I can share my authentic quirky self with my 2 amazing partners and my community of amazing people.

And who knows, maybe 2026 will be the year my partners and I do a joint thrupple photoshoot, to capture the love and joy we have found in each other.

Never be afraid to be your true self.

Xox

Ash.