Your Stories - Ellie J

Content Warning: These stories contain mentions of body dysmorphia, body image struggles, pregnancy loss, fertility struggles and gendered violence. If you find any of the below triggering, please find a list of helpful and free resources below:

DV/SV: 1800 RESPECT

Mental Health: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Eating Disorders and Body Image Issues: Butterfly Foundation 1800 ED HOPE

Ellie is such a sweetheart. Like, properly lovely to be around. She has an ability to make you feel so comfortable to be yourself because she’s comfortable just by being herself. Watching her confidence grow in real-time was extraordinary. 

She’s talked so openly about how it’s felt living in a body that people feel weirdly entitled to comment on. Being large chested has meant clothes not sitting right, sport feeling harder than it should, and way too many moments of being sexualised for wearing the most normal outfits. That stuff sticks, and it can make you second guess yourself before you’ve even left the house. The external commentary and validation played a huge role in how she’s been able to feel attractive, and how she’s been working on letting that go so she can see herself as beautiful for her, not for anyone else.

And then she came in for her shoot, a little apprehensive, but excited to the point where she wanted to tell everyone she was doing it, which is so Ellie. Emma settled any nerves she had in the makeup chair and Andrea has reported herself that she said she thinks she’ll be awkward with posing but was AMAZING and has so much more confidence than she knows.  You could see the shift happen while she was shooting too, she got more present, more playful, more in her body, and she started having real fun with it.

One of my favourite parts of Ellie’s story is what happened after. She said that during her completely nude photos (which she wasn’t sure if she’d be keen to do before the shoot), she had those old thoughts pop up about how her breasts fall and what they would look like from certain angles, because thats how shes been conditioned and our brains have the most delightful ways of wigging us out when we’re trying to grow beyond our insecurities. Even at the viewing she felt unsure about those images upon first glance, but chose them anyway. Then she received her copies, sat with them properly, and she was shocked by how much she loved them. The confidence that hit her when she gave herself a minute to really look was so real, and so deserved.

Ellie, you gorgeous thing, thank you for trusting us with this. We love how proud you were to do it, we love how honest you’ve been, and we love that this experience has you dressing for yourself more and backing yourself even when the old “is this too much” thoughts try to creep in. You’re getting better at meeting that thought and going yep cool, and then choosing yourself anyway. We love you and hope to see you again soon!